It's a challenge to think about starting a blog in the precise middle of a huge life crisis, I wish I had started at the beginning. I'm not going to back up very much for the time being, maybe at a later date I will summarize the events that have taken place in the past 6 years that have led up to this point.

It's time to focus on right now. Now is the time.

I am called Bethany. West of the Mississippi river, most know me as Laney. (Once again, a story too long and complex to get into at the moment.) I'm somewhat of a nomad, I don't really truly belong anywhere, except in the arms of my heavenly Father. I am married to a man that God put into my life exactly 4 years ago on March 31st, 2007, right when He knew I needed him most.

I am mother to a beautiful 3 1/2 year old girl, called Zoelie Joy. Her name means Eternal Life and Unspeakable Heavenly Happiness.. exactly what I wish for her to embody and experience. My husband chose to be her daddy and one day we hopefully will pursue a legal adoption. What a joyous occasion that will be!

I am pregnant with a tiny sweet little girl, and due in just 5 1/2 weeks. Her name will be Allister, and her name means Defender of Mankind. She will be strong, and she will be compassionate. She's already been through so much. She doesn't yet have a middle name, as my husband has been given the duty of surprising me with her middle on the day she is born. I realize that could be something along the lines of June or Jane.. but quite possibly something like "Rock n' Roll" or "Danger" or something equally as (I don't know..!) humorous or insane. Either way, it will be a special thing between Allister and her Daddy.

Especially since my husband and I are dealing with some intense marital issues right now.. and by intense, I mean as close to being divorced as possible without it being final. We are in a postponement and I am praying with all that I am for God to rescue us. We have had a very very rocky 2 1/2 years of marriage, but neither of us regret getting married.

Praising the Lord for all He has done so far! The last 3 weeks have been literally full of real life MIRACLES and I can't wait to share them with you. The last 3 months have been full of drastic changes and during this pressurized, sensitive time, God has completely breathed new life into me.. Christ is now fully involved in every aspect of my life for the first time! How amazing it feels! How Great Thou Art!! For now, it's time to look to the future, be praying for the restoration of our marriage,  believe fully that God is going to do it, and prepare for this new sweet little one to arrive! (More on my "Crunchy Granola" Birth Plan coming up next!)